Don't ask me about today's jap oral and listening. I've not felt so terrible for quite some time, over results.

I can go on and on about how I felt like giving up halfway through the paper, when I totally couldn't catch the conversation. But then again, I think other than the students of genius material, everyone else felt sucky.

Sean korkor specially called to say that he couldn't invite me to his wedding after all cos there was only a maximum seating capacity of 100 at the country club. I was only a little 18 yr old temp girl who worked under him for 4 months, the fact that he thought of inviting me was already very comforting. I just smiled and reassured him that I really won't be angry or what. Still, I could feel so much that he was genuinely apologetic. It's ok brother, I just wish the best for you and dasao for the rest of the journey :)

I went ICA today to make my replacement I/C. The woman went: full name? Address still Tai Keng? Handphone still 9829? Christian? Junior College? Education 3A GP pass?

I hesitated when she posed the last question. I was like erm....yah...cos I thought she was trying to be funny and guess my grades upon knowing I was from JC. But oh boy, she went "haha don't worry lah, only for re-kort lah". Then I realised, she was reading it off from the computer screen. I just have too much information with the government. So much that I'm not surprised if some public officer stops me on the streets one day and recites to me my family tree.

At home when I was finally lying on the comfy bed, I talked to God again. I asked Him, are grades really important? He said, yes, grades are important, but only to the world. To him, only our well being, our person, and our hearts mattered.

Yet He said, there is nothing wrong with saying that grades are important, because as humans living and interacting in a society, we need a form of system in place to measure each person's worth. But quickly, as though he knew the thoughts I was about to argue, He said that grades are not the only form of measurement. Character and uprightness are equally important.

The Lord said the very same thing again, there is nothing wrong with wanting to achieve good results. Good grades are not bad, it is the love and obsession of achieving good grades that is bad. It's just like money is not a bad thing, it is the love of money that entraps people. Then I asked God, have I ever been in such a situation where I viewed grades above many other things? He said, yes my dear girl, there were such times, in-and-out, on and off.

Then I asked Him again, my jap how? He asked me repeatedly, why do you worry? Why do you worry? What do you worry for? Haven't I been with you through enough things to know that I am always with you? Give the worry and the burden to Me, I will take it for you.

Then suddenly, as if I received some great revelation, I told the Lord, I give it to You. Take it Lord, just take it. My good God replied, yes dear, I received it. I received it, now go on your way.